Before the week of Thanksgiving last year, I was pretty scared because they were telling us how people wait up to four hours in line, and people order to-gos like crazy. They don't order to-go just for a normal-sized family—they order for an extended family. So we're basically catering people's entire Thanksgiving dinner. You know how we have the rocking chairs outside? On Thanksgiving, all of those chairs are full of people waiting, and people are standing up in line.

The whole parking lot is full.

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People park everywhere, including the Walmart next door. They'll park pretty far away and walk. It's crazy. Inside, it's chaotic. The retail store is full of people waiting and there's nowhere to get through. I get there at 9 AM, and it takes about an hour and 30 minutes to get set and get my first table.

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People start coming in around 11 AM or noon. I share tables with another server, because it's whole extended families that come in.

We connect our tables together, so we have to share one family with two other servers. Let's say if there are 25 people, there are three servers on that table. In the back, where the cooks' area is, it's worse than the floor. People in the back are screaming, they're stressed out. When running food, there are so many times that people drop their trays because it's so crowded.

I know there are a lot of dishes and glasses that are broken. And where people are sitting, it's pretty loud and it's messy. You have to mentally prepare yourself, because there's going to be a lot of screaming, a lot of yelling.

Cracker Barrel will make your Thanksgiving meal!

There's a lot of crying that day. Customers are going to be waiting, and they're not going to be patient. But there are people who understand and are really nice and tip you well. But people wait two or three hours just to be sat, and then they order their food and it takes some time to get their food. They're not really patient and they get mad. You have to come in with a good attitude. You will leave with a headache because you're mad, stressed out, and you have to hold it in.

Overall, it's just a pain in the butt, mentally and physically. Especially the older people, they're tired, so they're pretty rude. They're in a bad mood. You're so overwhelmed it just leads to a really bad attitude. People that order to-go can get mad, and some cuss at us.

Holiday Catering & Christmas Dinner To-Go

I obviously had to check it out. No bother. Arlington, New Jersey, a suburban enclave about an hour west of the city that neither of us knew existed until that very evening. Our ETA was 8pm, perhaps a bit late for the regular CB crowd, we guessed, so we called ahead to make sure they still had the special in stock.

But you better hurry! At about we strolled in through the shop, made our way past the Christmas ornament displays and Rutgers paraphernalia, and were seated at a two-top smack dab in the center of the cavernous, knick knack-strewn dining room. To my right sat a mother and her high school-aged daughter, the latter zoned into her phone. A handful of other families sat behind us, most with teenage kids, a few smaller ones toddling around. A young couple were tucked into the corner and two something guys in trucker hats and stained John Deere t-shirts shared an awkward meal near the far wall. To my left, a single middle-aged gentleman sipping a soda with a paperback in his hand.

Be Thankful for a Thanksgiving Day Meal from Cracker Barrel! - Tennessee Valley Weekend

He looked to me like a regular and my assumption was immediately confirmed when the waitress came over to take his order. Her apron read Francine in embroidered lettering. I shot from the hip and got a seasonal Spiced Apple Tea because it seemed on-brand and because my pumpkin beer plans were thwarted by the fact that Cracker Barrel, it turns out, is as dry as a literal barrel of crackers.

By the time she dropped the drinks we had a game plan. Two turkey dinners: I'd get the mac and cheese, carrots, and biscuits, Emily would have the green beans, mashed potatoes, and cornbread. Francine approved. The solo diner to our left, still engrossed in his novel, had also started in on his gravy-smothered turkey. Susan stopped by his table.

Cracker Barrel for Thanksgiving? Yes, please!

Cracker Barrel service is known for being speedy but nothing about the experience feels like fast food. On the contrary, the vibe meant to be laid-back, comforting: all rocking chairs, sweet tea, and country-fied geniality like a Sunday afternoon fish fry. The place was covered floor-to-ceiling in antiques -- wooden washboards, straw brooms, tin signs advertising Dr. Pepper or some long gone soap brand. Two decorative shotguns hung above a massive stone fireplace crowned by a pair of black-and-white portraits of an elderly man and woman.

I think his parents were pickers. Can you believe it? I just know this because I saw a program on Channel 4.

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